Psychologist for a Dark Lord
by A. Dark Shine
Summary: Conversation with the psychologist may be useful not only for his patient. The parody movie "Harry Hotter and Lord Villaindemort" is based on this story.


Harry had graduated from high magical school, majoring in Magical Psychology, and returned to Hogwarts to help Dumbledore to fulfill the secret task of the Ministry.

"Get ready, Harry. We will use the Time-Turner now to go back into the past."

Hogwarts, 60 years ago.

Diamond Malfoy was turning over pages of a "Playwizard" and pensively chewing a chocolate frog when the prefect of Slytherin, with his eyes sparkling angrily, rushed into the common room hissing something incomprehensible in Parseltongue. He fell down on the divan near Malfoy and laid there, motionless, clasping his head in his hands.

" Has something happened?" Diamond asked him gingerly. He was the only friend of Riddle – others were afraid of unpredictable nature of the prefect and his prominent talent to the Dark Arts. The most part of students of Hogwarts seemed to be very boring to Diamond. And the friendship with Tom looked like an extreme kind of sport – dangerous, but very interesting.

"Hum! Yes, it happened," sniffed Tom, "it happened a long time ago. Our headmaster is crazy."

"What has he done this time?"

"He has invited a psychologist to Hogwarts! And now all prefects must pass through interview with him."

"What for?"

"You see, a prefect of one faculty of Durmstrang visited bedrooms of students after midnight and forced them to have sex using "Imperio". Then this prefect applied spell "Obliviate". And our farsighted headmaster decided to check me for responsibility."

"But not only you, right?" Diamond stole a look at Riddle with evaluation and doubt.

"But simply explain me, Diamond, why must I suffer because of this apprehensive crazy boy from Durmstrang? Do I look like a madman?! Do I?!" Riddle was enraged. Malfoy flinched and pressed in divan's pillows.

"No, no, Tom, rest assured!" Malfoy waved his hands fearfully, "you are absolutely, 100% sane."

"All right, I will go through. I will visit this idiotic psychotherapist in order to remain a prefect. But I'll remind it to Dumbledore... I am tired with his muggles and muggle-borned magicians. They all will know soon who Lord Voldemort is!" Riddle went to bedroom murmuring threats to the Headmaster.

"Hum… Absolutely sane," Diamond shook his head and clicked his tongue significantly, "this is interesting… just who is Lord Voldemort?"

Trying to look calm, Tom came into the cabinet of the psychologist.

"Hello, Mister Riddle! Come in. Sit down, please," a dark-haired youth at about the age of 25 greeted the Slytherin's prefect, "do you have any complaints? Do you suffer from depression, insomnia?"

Bright green eyes of the psychologist carefully examined Tom through round glasses of spectacles.

"No. I feel fine. I don't visit other bedrooms after midnight and don't force anyone to have sex using "Imperio", if this is what you imply," Riddle curled his lip in haughty grin.

"Splendid!" the youth radiantly smiled. "In this case, I'll record: nothing, nobody, no sex, no "Imperio", and no force."

'It looks like he intends to communicate with me as if I am a violent madman… What a strange scar on his forehead,' thought Tom.

"It's nice," continued the psychologist, "I'm sure there's no need for such handsome young man to use "Imperio" for this purpose."

The unconcealed compliment made Tom to blush slightly – he was a virgin in his 16 and it wasn't exactly something he could be proud of. A small ball of a bright metal appeared in front of the prefect's eyes.

"Now, Mr. Riddle, may I ask you to relax and look at this object for me."

Suddenly Tom realized that he didn't want to resist the psychologist. The ball rocked slowly from side to side on the thin thread, and soon his eyes got tired with its monotonous motions.

Tom felt how someone's hand passed carefully over his hair.

"Mr. Riddle, that's all,"

Looking around, perplexed, the prefect of Slytherin tried to understand what had happened with him: he fell asleep, meditated or…

"You have rested a little, and can go now. Here is your certificate," giving him a friendly smile, the psychologist stretched out a leaflet with a stamp towards Tom.

"Thank you," Riddle mechanically put the certificate in his pocket and turned towards exit.

"My name is Harry. If you decide to come here again, I'll be happy to see you."

Riddle closed the door beside him hastily trying not to look back at the green-eyed interlocutor.

It seemed like nothing had happened but Tom felt something had changed slightly. The head ache, he had suffered for two weeks, went away and happiness appeared instead of the usual tiredness and melancholy. The prefect of Slytherin believed that the last phrase of the psychologist was addressed not to a next patient but personally to him - Tom Marvolo Riddle.

"Really "short" interview," Diamond noted, surprised to see Tom on the doorstep of the common room, "I had already my supper and did all homework for tomorrow."

'It's strange,' Riddle thought. 'It's seemed to me no more than ten minutes passed.'

"Well, will you go there?" Malfoy was interested.

"Where?"

"I don't know," Diamond shrugged his shoulders, "you have a lot of riddles. Yesterday you said that you would go to some room. And tell me, Tom, who is Lord Voldemort?"

"I don't know. Some magician, probably. Look in the course of history..."

'Tomorrow I'll visit the psychologist again.' Tom thought. 'I'll tell him … that I have lost my certificate. Harry… It seems to me there is something important concerning this name.'

"We have fulfilled the secret task of the Ministry, Mister Fudge. Lord Voldemort is not dangerous any more for the magic world."

"But where is Mister Potter?"

"Harry…," Dumbledore smiled mysteriously, "Harry decided to stay in the past to look over Tom. It will be better … for everybody."


End file.
